Pick up your pens, sharpen your pencils and chew on the funny bone - it's the moment at least one of you has been waiting for: the Planet Giraffe 'animalation' sketch competition.

We're looking for a 'funny' sketch based (loosely) on an animal theme to animate. Please 'bear' in mind:

Length - Max - 1 minute (remember short can be sweet)

Deadline For Entries - 10PM - 20 July 2007 (GMT)

Max Entries - One entry per person.

The Prize - We'll voice, animate, and bring our favourite sketch to life. Yes, Wow ! You'll also be credited. Yes, Wow !

Please post sketches on this thread.

Any questions, general chit chat re comp - please use this thread.

http://www.planetgiraffe.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=12

PS - Our decision is final......obviously.
PPS - To get a feel for what amuses us go to the main page.

http://www.planetgiraffe.com/index.html

Last edited by simon on Tue Jul 17, 2007 6:52 pm; edited 4 times in total

========================
CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT
========================

EXT. FRONT GARDEN. LOVELY SUMMER'S DAY.

LOVELY, BOUNCING MUSIC PLAYS AS A HAPPY SCURRYING KITTEN IS NOSING AROUND A HEDGE, ROLLING ON THE GARDEN PATH, PLAYFULLY CHASING AND JUMPING TO TRY AND CATCH A BUTTERFLY. IT FOLLOWS THE BUTTERFLY ACROSS THE ROAD. A CAR SCREECHES AND HITS THE CAT. TIME STOPS WITH THE CAT HORRIBLY TWISTED IN MID-AIR. DEATH HAS APPEARED. HE SWINGS HIS SCYTHE THROUGH THE CAT. A LITTLE, SHOCKED LOOKING GHOST CAT SUDDENLY APPEARS SAT NEXT TO DEATH LOOKING EVER-SO-SURPRISED. LIFE WALKS ON TOWARDS THE DUO UNTIL ALL THREE ARE IN SHOT.

LIFE
Alright.

DEATH
Fine. How’s it going?

LIFE
Not so bad.

THE GHOST CAT TURNS HIS EYES TO LIFE.

LIFE
Eight left. Be careful.

LIFE BANGS HIS STAFF ON THE FLOOR. THE GHOST CAT DISAPPEARS, THE REAL CAT LANDS ON HIS FEET AND CONTINUES TO CHASE THE BUTTERFLY ACROSS THE ROAD.

END
=======================================

Cheers

Dan

DEAD PET STORE

A SHOP KEEPER IS IN HER PET SHOP

F/X: SHOP BELL

SHOP KEEPER:
Good morning

MOTHER:
Good morning

SHOP KEEPER:
Can I help you?

MOTHER:
Yes, we are looking for a pet for Ben here.

SHOP KEEPER:
I think we can help. Ben is it your first pet?

BEN:
Yes

SHOP KEEPER:
What sort of pet do you want?

BEN:
Bunny.

SHOP KEEPER:
A rabbit. Do you like the look of these ones?

POINTS TO SOME CUTE BUNNIES IN A CAGE

MOTHER:
They’re adorable.

SHOP KEEPER:
Well as this is your first pet I think you should get one of these.

SHOP KEEPER PULLS OUT A SHOEBOX FROM UNDER THE COUNTER

MOTHER:
What is that smell? That’s disgusting.

SHOP KEEPER:
Statistics show that eight percent of first time pet owners kill their pets. Therefore to test whether you are ready for a proper pet we give you dead ones.

SHOP KEEPER OPENS BOX AND PULLS OUT A ROTTING BUNNY

BEN:
What’s wrong with the Bunny Mummy?

MOTHER:
How does that help? Can you put it away, please?

SHOP KEEPER:
If you can stop it rotting after two weeks then you can have a live one. We have to think of the animal’s welfare.

MOTHER:
I think we’ll go somewhere else.

SHOP KEEPER:
You’ll regret it when you’re looking after a dead Bunny!

3 Children have stopped at the side of a road and are looking at a squashed creature.

Child 1
Whassat!

Child 2
A thing a me jig

Child 3
Nah! It’s a doo dah.

Child 1
Its dead though. (Takes his hockey stick out of his rucksack and starts prodding it)

Child 2
Smooshed.

Child 3
Splattered.

Child 1
Squished.

Child 3
(Shocked) It moved. Ewwwwwww! Filth o riffic.

Child 2
Urghhhhhh Grosse e o anglasis.

Child 1
Urghhhhhh! Dis grace ting

Child 2
I think it’s a Road kill

They all stand over the creature when suddenly its eyes open, then it gets up & plods into the road. It aims for an approaching car, which swerves to miss it and crashes into a tree. The creature boings up and down three times then walks back to the side of the road and flattens itself out again.

All 3 children.
(Excited) Whoaaaaaaaa! Road kill




Cheers.

The Zoo:

EXT: A ZOO. A COUPLE ARE WALKING DOWN THE PATH WITH AN EXCITED YOUNG CHILD.

CHILD:
The dangeroos! The dangeroos! Wanna see the dangeroos!

EXT: THE COUPLE ARE LOOKING AT SOME POLAR BEARS. THE CHILD IS PULLING AT HIS DAD’S HAND.

CHILD:
No Polar Pears. Dangeroos! Wanna see dangeroos!

EXT: THE COUPLE ARE LOOKING AT SOME GORILLAS.

CHILD:
[MORE EXCITED]No monkeys. Lemme see the dangeroos. Dangeroos now.

EXT: THE COUPLE ARE LOOKING AT SOME ELEPHANTS

CHILD:
[SCREAMING] Not the edjiphants. I wanna see the dangeroos.

FATHER:
Oh for pity’s sake, let’s just take him to see the kangaroos.

EXT: THE FAMILY ARE AT THE KANGEROO ENCLOSURE. MUM AND DAD ARE LOOKING AT THE KANGEROOS. THE CHILD IS FACING THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION AND PULLING HARD ON HIS DAD’S HAND. HE IS HAPPY AND EXCITED.

CHILD:
[POINTING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION TO THE KANGEROOS] The dangeroos!

CAMERA PANS AROUND TO SHOW OPPOSITE THE KANGEROO ENCLOSURE IS A CAGE WITH A COUPLE OF TIRED-LOOKING LIONS INSIDE. THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN. ON THE CAGE IS A SIGN THAT READS:
DANGEROUS. DO NOT FEED.

CHILD:
[OFF CAMERA] Dangeroos!

PABLO : You know what? I'm starving.

JUAN : Me too - what do you fancy?

PABLO : Well - ants of course. We are Anteaters after all.

JUAN : But don't you get a bit fed up with ants?

PABLO : That is the idea!

JUAN : But don't you ever fancy a bit of variety?

PABLO : Such as?

JUAN : I dunno. What about Kalamari - or Beef Burgignon?

PABLO : What do they taste like?

JUAN : No idea! But they sound moreinteresting than bloody ants!

PABLO : So where do you find it then?

JUAN : No idea.

PABLO : Well why mention it then? Comeon. Let's find some ants.

JUAN : What a novelty! No - I'm sick of them. They crawl all over you and go up your nose. And it's about half an hour before you find out they're there. Don't you hate that feeling?

PABLO : Can't say I've given it much thought really. It's just an occupational hazard. We're Anteaters - we eat ants! End of story.

JUAN : I just want some variety. Haven't you ever wanted to better yourself?

PABLO : Nope!

JUAN : Well I do. I'm sick of the savannah. I want to travel - I want to visit our cousins in Africa.

PABLO : Aren't you a bit wary about meeting them?

JUAN : No - you know what they say. Aardvark never hurt anyone!

THE SHARP END
By DrVole

EXT. NIGHT. WE SEE A BUSH IN A FIELD BENEATH A TWILIT SKY.

FX: (GRUNT, GROAN)

TWO PAIRS OF EYES (ONE MALE, ONE FEMALE WITH EYELASHES) BECOME VISIBLE IN THE BUSH.

FEMALE: It's no good, it's just not happening for me.

MALE: Oh, come on. (WINKS) No-one will see us.

FEMALE: It's not that.

MALE: What then? Does it hurt?

FEMALE: Yes, it bloody does! It's agony!

MALE: Look, it was your idea to do it in a thorn bush.

FEMALE: It's not the thorns that are hurting me.

MALE: Well, is it better if I do thi-

FEMALE: (EYES POP) Ow!

MALE: Obviously not.

FEMALE: Look, the moment's gone, Eric. Can you take me home now please?

MALE: Is it too big? Is that the problem?

FEMALE: (ROLLS EYES) Don't flatter yourself.

(THE FEMALE EYES EMERGE FROM THE BUSH. THEY BELONG TO A HEDGEHOG. SHE DUSTS HERSELF OFF.)

FEMALE: It's not that kind of prick that's the problem. Are you coming or what?

MALE HEDGEHOG COMES INTO VIEW.

MALE: (SIGHS AND LOOKS AT 'CAMERA') I wish I was.

FEMALE: (FROWNS, CROSS) Very funny.

(THEY BEGIN TO EXIT THE SCENE, HE IS LIMPING AS HE GOES. WE STILL HEAR THEIR CONVERSATION AFTER THEY'RE OUT OF SIGHT)

FEMALE: Why are you limping?

MALE: It's nothing, love. Just pins and needles.

END

Road sign: 'SLOW
ANIMALS PLAYING'
The animals are playing about slowly.

TWO MEN WALK INTO A HOUSE. MAN 1 SITS IN THE LIVING ROOM WHILE MAN 2 GOES INTO THE KITCHEN. A DOG WALKS INTO THE LIVING ROOM..


MAN 1: Hello boy. You're a good dog arent you.(starts rubbing the dog)

Can you do tricks?
Give me the paw?( dog places paw in mans hand)
Roll over(dog rolls over)

MAN TRIES TO THINK OF MORE DIFFICULT THINGS HE CAN GET THE DOG TO DO

MAN1: Aaam... hop up and down.

TO HIS AMAZEMENT THE DOG HOPS UP AND DOWN.

MAN1: Spontaneously combust

DOG EXPLODES.

END.
_________________
Lets swim to the moon, lets climb through the tide.

MR & MRS BLACK FRENCH POODLE ARE STARING THROUGH THE BARS OF THEIR GARDEN GATE.

A MONGREL STRUTS PAST FOLLOWED BY HER SIX YOUNG PUPS.

MRS POODLE (French accent)
Huh! There goes the English trollop with her latest brood. Poor souls will never know who is their real father (Beat) I doubt she even knows herself, she always has so many dogs sniffing around her.

SUDDENLY THE LAST LITTLE PUP STOPS AND TURNS HIS GAZE ON MR & MRS POODLE.

HIS MOTHER AND FIVE SISTERS ALL HAVE TAN COLOURED COATS WITH WHITE MARKINGS WHILST HIS COAT IS BLACK WITH TAN MARKINGS. THEIR COATS ARE SILKY WHILST HIS IS WOOLY AND HIS TAIL SPORTS A POODLE POM POM. BUT EVEN MORE STRIKING IS HIS RESEMBLANCE TO MR POODLE.

MOTHER (Yelling like a fish wife)
Move yer arse Jacques Junior, else you'll get left behind.

MRS POODLE'S JAW DROPS OPEN IN SHOCK.

MR POODLE (Beating a hasty retreat)
Um, must get on. Holes to dig! Bones to bury!

END OF SKETCH.

SAM GETS IT SORTED

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

A SMALL MODERN KITCHEN.

SAM, A LARGE GINGER DOG WEARING A CHEF`S HAT AND APRON, STANDS ON HIS HIND LEGS AT THE HOB COOKING SAUSAGES AND BACON.

CUT TO:

SAM, TUCKED UP WITH HIS TEDDY, ASLEEP IN HIS BASKET.

A HEART-SHAPED THOUGHT BUBBLE SHOWS A CUTE WHITE DOG FIFI, WITH A RED BOW ON HER HEAD.

CUT TO:

EXT. PATH - DAY

SAM TROTS ALONG. HE SPOTS FIFI WITH HER OWNER.

SAM`S THOUGHT BUBBLE READS “7.00pm in the park Fifi?"

FIFI`S THOUGHT BUBBLE READS “OK Sam!”

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

SAM STROLLS INTO THE KITCHEN SMILING.

SAM`S THOUGHT BUBBLE READS “Sorted!”

SAM STANDS UP ON HIS HIND LEGS, OPENS THE FRIDGE AND SHAKES HIS HEAD.

SAM`S THOUGHT BUBBLE READS “Typical! No milk!”

SAM DROPS TO HIS FRONT PAWS AND PICKS UP A SHOPPING BAG.

SAM`S THOUGHT BUBBLE READS “And humans call us dumb!”

SAM TROTS OUT OF THE KITCHEN.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

A CAT AND DOG SIT STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW.

THEIR EYES WIDEN AT THE WONDERFUL BIG WIDE WORLD BEFORE THEM.

DOG
Let's do it, let's escape.

CAT
Are you serious?

DOG
Yeah, come on, we will be free.

CAT
I'm already pretty free.

DOG
Are you, are you really?

CAT
Yeah, I'm a cat.

DOG
But are you really free or is it all just an illusion? Are you wearing that collar and bell because it looks cute or is it really a shackle a sign of repression?

CAT
It goes with my eyes.

DOG
You fool. If you escape you can be free. No more baths, vaccinations or kids pulling at your fur.

CAT
You're right, I can see what you mean, it's all becoming so clear now, let's go, let's be free.

OWNER (O.S)
Dinners ready!

DOG
Bugger it, I'm starving.

DOG LEAVES CAT STANDING THERE DEFLATED.

END